Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
