I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize