Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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