I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This baby is an asshole
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
