I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
