can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize