just tell him i said nine months
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
