He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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