like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
