So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So vagazzling was a success
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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