Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
