it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
