Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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