he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
