I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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