i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
