I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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