sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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