i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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