i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
