So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
