What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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