and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
