: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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