I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
