He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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