i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
