Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Me too!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
