New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
