That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize