Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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