I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize