I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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