I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
