Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
