and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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