Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize