I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
