if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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