physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
bring money and cleavage
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
