I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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