Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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