Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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