Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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