I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
