i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's great music for shaving your balls
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up under a house in Key West
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize