Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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