Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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