He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
