i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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