True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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