You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
