what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
