I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
