dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize