I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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