sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
