Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
