you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
