i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize