I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
