distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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