Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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