possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
