super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
