Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
