I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
