This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
