Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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