Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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