I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
