Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
