so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
