I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
