so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize