god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
