Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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