I didn't shave. On purpose
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
