I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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