ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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