I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
