look no pants
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
