I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize