i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
