i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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