He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
